


Data

by aseocheviix



Category: Dead Kids (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Conyo dialogue, Dead Kids Data Daddy AU, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-sided pining, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Sugar Daddy, Tagalog Dialogue, Taglish dialogue, also apparently you can't tag more than one language but I use, primarily English, ty sushi for this data daddy au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21914194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aseocheviix/pseuds/aseocheviix
Summary: "I’ll provide everything you want and need. Money’s not a problem. I just need you to talk to me. Sabihin mo sa'kin lahat ng bumibigat sa utak mo, o lahat ng gusto mo. Until you graduate, no worries. Everything is on me. ...I’m just asking for you to date me."
Relationships: Charles Blanco/Mark Sta. Maria, Past Charles Blanco/Gideon Uy, Side Paolo Gabriel/Yssa Miranda
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an AU by @sushishorts originally posted on Twitter, called the Data Daddy AU, posted in social media format. It has since been taken down because of circumstances, but I respect Sushi's decision and I'll try my best for my own half of the story.
> 
> About the setting, I wasn't sure on how to deal with the SHS tracks sa Padua, kaya ginawa ko na lang GAS strand for all of them. Kinda like with OB I think? Where they're all default GAS or something. To be clear, this takes place around the middle of their second (and last) term in Senior year, making it January. (Second term is usually from November to March.) Also, since they're seniors, the bunch of drinking scenes here isn't underage, kasi 18 na sila.

Mark Sta. Maria _hated_ being absent.

Normally, though, he wasn’t ever absent in class; even when he was sick, he’d still go. Maybe just twice or thrice before now. Such was the life of a scholar—he needed to keep a clean academic and student record. Except this situation was different now. Health and injury, he can manage, but his Tita Bebe’s wrath was hindering. Nanay hadn’t sent him the rent payment for his tita’s apartment for a _long_ while. He understood, of course, and could never blame her; meanwhile, his tita can definitely place blame, which he could also understand.

_“Mark! Grabe na ‘to, magtatatlong buwan na yang renta mo! May binubuhay rin ako, ijo!”_

Mark sighed, hugging himself tightly as he walked around the streets near his apartment, looking for any flyer, any poster, _anything_ , that said he could rent a place cheaper. At least for a while.

_“Kung ‘di niyo kaya magbayad, maghanap ka na ng ibang uupahan! Hanggang biyernes, ha, Mark?!”_

Anything, anything, _anything, please!_

His phone suddenly began buzzing frantically. Looking down at his screen, he realizes that it was already 6 in the evening; and that he was still empty-handed. Below the date and time were a long stack of Messenger notifications from a group chat. Mark smiled grimly to himself when he remembers who they were.

Paolo Gabriel, who almost looks popular, but distances himself from everyone in favor of his two friends and girlfriend.

Gideon Uy, who was more bark than bite, and who Mark saw as the bridge between Paolo and…

Charles Blanco. Blanco, dark and mysterious as he was, had a sense of compassion deep inside him that he wasn’t that good at hiding.

They were three _very_ different people, which surprised Mark at first, but they all got along with mutual senses of humor and understanding. So, fittingly, the chat was named “3-in-1 +1”. Clearly, he wasn’t _that_ close to them yet, but he felt very thankful for them. Mark was surprised that they’d let him into their little group, but they made him feel like he belonged.

The notifications were mostly of Gideon and Paolo wondering why Mark was absent. Blanco’s messages were mostly to try and tame the other two’s loud reactions, but he also expressed some worry about Mark’s absence in school that day.

Now, feeling like he belonged was new to Mark, and he had only ever felt that with his close family, even back home in Tacloban. Metro Manila was a big place, and it’s taken him a couple years to feel any sense of warmth close to home. He found it with them—with Pao, with Gideon, with… With Blanco.

Blanco was the strangest person to him, actually, yet Mark felt closer to him than he did with Paolo and Gideon. Maybe becoming his Biology partner was fate.

— –

_He wasn’t sure what compelled him to move, but a strange feeling overcame him before he jumped the gun and took the opportunity. Loneliness and depression were nothing new to him, and despair was basically his closest friend. Desperation was what was new. Everything felt heavy; in his heart, and in his mind. He convinced himself that the opportunity could wrench the bolt in his cold heart loose. He just couldn’t find the reason in him as to why He was who he chose._

— –

Mark didn’t believe too much in fate, especially not as of late. Was it fate that he was doomed to be homeless for a while? That seemed too cruel to not just be plain reality.

God, was he sick of Manila…

He replied quickly to them, that he needed to find an apartment because his “Tita Bebe needed to use it for a while.'' He was lying, though, and he knew they could tell. Blanco was the first to jump.

Blancs: _Ng biglaan? Yung totoo Sta Maria  
_ Paoo: _???  
_ Gid [ 🌭 ](https://emojipedia.org/hot-dog/) : _you need help?_

Mark didn’t want to admit he needed help to them. As much as he’d come to trust them, and as much as he liked being friends with them, he didn’t want to make it seem like he befriended them for their wealth.

…  
Sta. Maria: _Wala to, Hahaha_

It must feel great not to worry so much about things like money. It must feel great not to have any debts to pay, or a scholarship to maintain, or a provincial family to miss. Truthfully, he would’ve loved to go back home, because he’s so fucking tired of this place. The worst part was that he couldn’t, not now. His scholarship was the only thing Mark had to getting somewhere.

Blancs: _Mark  
_ Blancs: _Anong nangyari?  
_ …  
Sta. Maria: _Wala to_

Mark closes the app and opens his Text Messages, hoping to maybe contact Nanay. Instead, his eyes catch the most recent unregistered text, and an idea came across his mind.

— –

Probably the third time that Mark had ever been absent, his Biology teacher announced their midterm project to the class. Janina told him that the partners weren’t assigned, but personally picked. Janina Camiloza was the only friend Mark had, or at least he hoped so. They were close enough that she put makeup on him sometimes (“ _Sta. Maria, sige na, you’re too pretty not to be made-up!_ ”) but not close enough that Mark could ever think he had a chance to be with her. Truthfully, he was sure the whole school also liked Janina; and who wouldn’t?

Secretly, he had hoped that she was his partner.

“Ah, si Blanco nga pala yung kumuha sa’yo for the project, by the way. You can ask Paolo for his number.”

She wasn’t his partner.

“Paolo?”

“Yeah, si Paolo. Yung boyfriend ni Yssa?”

They were walking along the corridor when she told him that, and he had glanced to the lockers where he could see those same two chatting. Paolo Gabriel did _not_ look like the kind of person who was friends with Charles Blanco. Charles Blanco, who looked like he was forever brooding, compared to Paolo, who acted a lot like an extroverted introvert.

Mark looked away when he realized the two were flirting very close to each other’s faces.

“Uhm…”

Janina looked up at Mark, then glanced towards the lockers. Her mouth gaped into an ‘O’ before she smiled cheekily back at Mark.

“Yssa!”

Almost immediately, Yssa and Paolo broke their intimate gazes to look casually over to Janina. Mark noticed a small lipstick smudge on Paolo’s mole.

“Jani? Yeah, what’s up?”

“Can Mark borrow Paolo first?”

Janina nudges Paolo forward, squeezing his shoulder.

“Oh! Uh, yeah sure. Pao-by, library na ako with Jenny Mae, ah?”

Yssa pecks a brief kiss over the lipstick smudge, and in turn, Paolo pecks the tip of her ear. They all watch as Paolo stares at her leave, when Janina clears her throat lightly.

“Mark?”

Mark coughs, catching Paolo’s attention. His expression immediately shifts to a secret-cheekiness when he looks at Mark. From what he knows, the guy is actually pretty talkative, and seeing him look like he knows something he doesn’t want to say was almost weird.

“Ah, uh, kaibigan mo si Blanco, diba? Partner ko kasi siya sa Bio project, and—”

“Aoow, you want his digits, huh??”

Paolo’s cheekiness increased tenfold as he drapes an arm around Mark and starts walking in the direction opposite Yssa. Mark panics, looking around to find Janina, but she’s already walking away. He sees her look back for a second and give him an O-K sign.

“Paolo’s gotchu, bro! I’m sure Blancs would be happy na nasa phone niya number mo.”

Mark’s face turned back to him confused. Paolo quietly noted he looked a lot like a lost puppy.

“I didn’t know na excited pala siya sa Bio project?”

Paolo quietly noted he looked a lot like a lost, _dense_ puppy.

“Ah, hindi, ano… Sige, nevermind. Your phone?”

Paolo’s hand held out and Mark looked around cautiously before pulling out his phone and opening his contacts list. He tapped a new one, and handed it over to Paolo. The guy typed for a few seconds, and when he gave his phone back, Mark saw he had typed “ _BBlanco_ ” as a contact name. Immediately, he fixed it.

“Nagka-typo ka ata…”

He didn’t notice Paolo looking at him blankly as he completed Charles Blanco’s name on his phone, but Mark did see his face change to a wide grin from whatever it was. He had his hands behind his back, mimicking innocence, and Mark stared at him in bemusement.

“Sooo… Naka-plan naman ‘yun, for sure he’ll message _very fast_.”

Paolo leaned over to clap Mark’s shoulder, and left, leaving him alone in the hallway staring at his phone as the class bell rings.

— –

Later that night, Mark texts Blanco. Or, well, he thinks of how he wants to text Blanco, because load is very precious and he only had one shot in this.

Mark: _Hello? Si Blanco ba to? Sorry, absent kasi ako the other day, and sabi ni Jan_ —

Wait, would Blanco rather he message in English, or Tagalog? Was Taglish too much? Should he be like Paolo and go for Conyo, or… Well, now that he thought about it, Blanco spoke in Tagalog a lot. Mark shook his head vigorously. He was thinking about it too necessarily, what with his terrible social skills. It’s better to just type how he would talk.

Mark: _Hello? Si Blanco ba to? Si Sta Maria ‘to. Sorry, absent kasi ako kahapon, tapos sabi ni Jan ikaw partner ko sa Bio project? Hiningi ko yung number mo kay Paolo, okay lang ba?_

Sighing, Mark stared at the message while it sent, and went to lock his phone when he saw a reply pop up.

Blanco: _Oo naman  
_ …  
Blanco: _Wait lang ah brb_  
…  
Blanco: _Sta Maria ok lang ba if mag-transfer tayo to Messenger? Sorry sa abala_

 _No, not really_ , but Mark couldn’t say that. Something made him not say it since he didn’t want to feel any pity from anyone. If he remembered well, he still had some free mobile data left, so he shot a text agreeing.

Glancing off the side of his bed, he felt relief wash over him that he had brought home a couple books for research on their project. It was a little inconvenient, but he could type out his research onto his phone’s Notebook, and transfer it later on into the Docs link Blanco sent him. He didn’t mind not having a laptop, being alright with using the computers in Padua’s library—he knew it wasn’t ideal, but he had no choice. Laptops were expensive, and he was already having trouble keeping up with Tita Bebe’s rent.

Mark sighed and got up from his bet, and ran to turn on the lights in the “living area” of the room, so he could begin working.

As he sat down on the floor with his books laid out on the coffee table, he quickly turns off his free data before he could notice Blanco’s latest message.

— –

_He figured he still believed in God, yeah. Or at the very least, Jesus. Yet God seemed to shame him, throwing obstacles right to his face. Like a game of ball, and of all the games it could’ve been, God threw one he couldn’t play. No bat to hit back, no hoop to shoot, and no goal to run. He felt he faced a dead end he didn’t want, because God forbid he finally wanted a winning game._


	2. Chapter 2

Mark stared down at his phone after finishing his text, which he was sure summarized his current feelings. He was already back at his apartment, huddled in his bed under a blanket, reeking of desperation. He still had no idea who the Unknown Contact was, but they had originally already offered what he needed. It made Mark feel a little less guilty about taking advantage of someone’s wealth, at least. He hoped that the person would respond even after he initially rejected him.

Mark: _Ako na lang mang-iistorbo, kasi ‘di ko na talaga alam kung ano gagawin ko. Paano kung nagkaroon ka ng kaibigan sa lugar na hindi mo gusto, at willing naman sila tulungan ka, pero baka isipin nila na ginagamit mo lang sila?_ _  
_ Mark: _Hindi ko na talaga kaya dito sa Maynila, pero malamang di mo rin kaya mag-aral sa Tacloban dahil walang wala na pamilya ko_

He sighed and rubbed his face as he waited for a reply. Deciding he needed to focus on other matters while he waited for his last resort, Mark decided to finally clean up the apartment. He was most likely to leave it anyway, so he figured he might as well leave it fixed. Mostly, it meant organizing Tita Bebe’s belongings as an apology for not paying the rent. Unconsciously, he also began keeping his own things into boxes for when he had to leave.

In the middle of his ministrations, his gaze drifted towards his phone again. There was still no reply, and he impulsively sent a new text.

Mark: _Siguro ang saya maging mayaman, no? Yung hindi mo iisipin ‘to_

Just as he was about to leave his phone alone again, they finally replied.

Unknown Contact: _kaya kitang tulungan_ _  
_ Unknown Contact: _pero_ _  
_ Mark: _Hindi kita kayang mabayaran pabalik_ _  
_ Unknown Contact: _hindi mo kailangan ibalik._

Just as quickly as Mark panicked over another possible debt, the Unknown Contact sent a follow-up. They seemed genuine in wanting to help, but Mark was still unsure. What if the guy wanted to blackmail him? Or worse, ask for…illegal “ _favors_ ”?

…  
Unknown Contact: _kung ayaw mo talaga tanggapin ng walang kapalit, baka may magagawa ka para sakin_

Mark began praying _so_ fast.

Unknown Contact: _sabi kasi ng iba, may mga bagay na hindi mo maiintindihan hanggat di ka pa naiinlove. so mark sta maria, I have a proposition for you_

This was it. Mark was going to die very fast, _very_ quickly. He was even sure that the person was probably a student, and the moment he died, it was an endgame of “He will be missed, as well as his tendency to search for sugar daddies to bone.” Gideon might have a field day at that last remark.

Unknown Contact: _I’ll provide everything you want and need. money’s not a problem. I just need you to talk to me. sabihin mo sakin lahat ng bumibigat sa utak mo, o lahat ng gusto mo_ _  
_ Unknown Contact: _until you graduate, no worries. everything is on me_ _  
_ Unknown Contact: _I’m just asking for you to date me_

…Huh?

— –

_He played a game of chess once when he was younger. Tatay taught him. In fact, tatay taught him many things before they turned their backs on one another. One of his fears was if he were to become his father one day, but he supposed that they were already alike as cold-hearted nomads. Figuring time would pass by quickly, anyway, he took another shot at a game of chess. He was older now, but his innocence had since been lost. He knew how to deal hands. This time, he’ll learn normalcy by himself._

— –

Mark looked around the study hall of the library, but saw that Blanco wasn’t there yet. Blanco had set up a meeting between the two of them so they could work on their Biology midterm project. Looking at the clock, though, he realized he came a little bit earlier than what they’d talked on. As he sat down at an empty table, he figured he could begin organizing his notes and research for him to type out on Blanco’s laptop.

He felt a little thankful that Blanco offered they use his laptop for their work, because upon checking the computer area in the first-floor library, he saw they were all taken.

“Pare.”

A hand clapped over his shoulder, and Mark looked up to see Blanco…

…and Paolo Gabriel and Gideon Uy.

He knew Gideon from some of Janina’s ramblings, and just like with Paolo, he didn’t know how the three were friends. He could see they were close though, from how they stood together.

“Ah, si… Uy at Paolo nga pala. Sorry kung hassle, pero nagyaya kasi sila na makasama sa pagtrabaho.”

Gideon and Paolo were already sitting down and pulling out stuff from their bags for research as Blanco said this. They both left the seat across from Mark free for him to use.

“Okay lang…”

Blanco nods and pats his shoulder again, while Gideon winked at him.

“‘Sup, Sta. Maria?”

From that point, Mark witnessed probably the longest period Paolo and Gideon ever stayed quiet. Or at least, their own definition of quiet.

Blanco let Mark take over the use of his laptop the whole time, to type out his research and draft out the whole outline. Meanwhile, Blanco worked on his own side of the research. He said he was alright with just typing them out later on when he got home. So his view was blocked majorly by the screen of the laptop, but he was sure he saw Paolo and Gideon continuously shoot Blanco glances the entire time. At some point, Gideon shouted a curse after an audible thunk, before he grumbled about having to endure being next to Blanco. Mark heard Paolo chuckle to himself at this.

What he failed to notice the entire time were Blanco’s stares. Hunched over, almost hidden behind the screen, Mark worked hard on the project while his partner watched intently.

Later on, as they exited the library, and Gideon and Paolo started making a run for the cafeteria, Blanco lingered with Mark.

“Sorry kung naguluhan ka sa kanila.”

“Ah, ‘di ko naman sila napansin. Okay lang.”

Blanco nodded slowly and cleared his throat kind of awkwardly. He patted Mark’s shoulder again.

“Sige. Ingat pauwi, ah.”

The hand lingered for a second longer at his back than Mark thought it should have, and he watched silently when Blanco followed in the direction Gideon and Paolo went. He didn’t have much time to think about it when he checked his watch to find he needed to get back to his apartment soon for his other assignments.

— –

As Mark finished up the rest of his assignments, he quickly went to check his phone for any updates from Blanco on their draft. Just as the messages loaded, a notification popped up. His face paled in dread when it said “ _Your free mobile data subscription has expired_ ”. Hurriedly, he closed it and tried loading the file Blanco had sent him, close to panicking. Relief washed over Mark and he released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when he came to find that it could still load.

By now, he was frustrated, because it would be very _very_ bad if he didn’t update Blanco over reading it. He hoped that at least Messenger might’ve marked it as ‘seen’, but Mark wasn’t sure if that could actually be worse. The guy could think he was ignoring him, and…

Well, who didn’t fear Blanco?

As much as he didn’t seem scary after all, from their time together in the library and how (emotionally constipated but) understanding he was, especially about the laptop thing… Well, his dad was a police captain, and Blanco was a very well-off closed-off person. He didn’t have many close friends besides Gideon and Paolo, and probably Chuck-motherfucking-Santos. He’d heard hearsay that Sir Santos was the Ninong of Blanco. That basically _tripled_ his scare-factor.

Mark could never see himself coming near Chuck, or just plain having anything to do with Chuck, and _surviving_.

Mark rubbed his temples as he caught himself spiraling into deep thought. He sighed and properly completed the last of his assignments before reading Blanco’s draft.

Some moments later, after scribbling down a few notes in his notebook on what to change, his phone buzzed violently on the table. Taken by surprise, Mark checked it to find P300.00 from _AutoLoadMAX_ loaded onto his phone.

A breath caught in his lungs by surprise, and he was stunned speechless. His hand had gone limp in confusion upon reading the notification, and his phone landed on his lap.

Holy…fuck, _what_?

Mark picked up the phone again to check if he read right. Lo and behold, a number unknown to him sent 300 Pesos worth of load to his line… Right at the time he needed it, too. Was it Nanay? God, whoever it was, he was _grateful_ but Mark felt bad because he knew other people deserved that more. Unless it _was_ Nanay, then… Well, it wouldn’t hurt to have gotten 500 instead.

Shaking his head at his useless musings, he decided it was alright to use it for a moment.

Once his mobile data loaded, he shot a few quick chat messages to Blanco that he had read the draft.

Mark Sta. Maria: _Sorry, wala kasing load, pero nabasa ko na siya_ _  
_ Mark Sta. Maria: _May kailangan lang idagdag dun sa Results & Discussion, pero nasulat ko na _ _  
_ Mark Sta. Maria: _Type ko na lang sa library bukas_ _  
_ …  
Charles Blanco: _Dalhin ko na lang ulit laptop ko bukas para masubmit na rin during class_ _  
_ … _  
_ Charles Blanco: _Oks lang_ _  
_ …  
Mark Sta. Maria: _Ok, salamat !_ _  
_ Mark Sta. Maria: _Sorry sa abala :(_  
Charles Blanco: _Uy, hindi, wala yun swear, ano ka ba_ _  
_ Charles Blanco: _Di ka abala_

Just as quickly as Blanco was replying, Mark turned off his data to save right after their conversation. As generous as 300 was, now with the 3GB of free data, it was better to manage it wisely. Whoever sent it, he only hoped he could get to thank them.

— –

_He probably wasn’t an idiot, yet there he stood in his suddenly impulsive glory. If he wasn’t an idiot then, he was definitely an idiot now. However, he knew gifts were for the deserving—he knew this especially as someone who usually did not give any. Whatever he had now, whatever tactics he played in games of chess, a loophole built by him for his friend to take was a god-sent gift from a demon. Yet his friend only gingerly observed rather than taking a bite. He hadn’t seen anything like that before._


	3. Chapter 3

Mark doesn’t reply to the Unknown Contact for a whole school day after telling them that he’ll “think about the proposition”. It was when he was doing a little extra work for some students and their assignments after classes at the library that he broke. Mathematics usually fed into his mind until he became a quick-processing calculator, but in the middle of completing a junior’s trigonometry assignment, Mark’s thoughts burst in worry.

It was Sunday when Tita Bebe told him off about having until Friday, and now that it was Tuesday, it was the _best_ time to send a reply to his Contact if they were to send him money before then. Mark knew he had to settle it for real, or else he had nowhere to go, and he rushed to gather his things to get back home.

Once back at the apartment, Mark shot a message to the Unknown Contact.

Mark: _Kahit naman pumayag ako sa set-up, hindi ko alam kung paano_

Their reply came in fast, as if anticipating it the whole day. Mark almost felt bad for a split-second.

Unknown Contact: _paano yung ano? you dont know how to ask for what you need? or want?_ _  
_Mark: _Yes_ _  
_Unknown Contact: _simple lang naman, just ask nicely_ _  
_Mark: _‘Di kita kilala_ _  
_Unknown Contact: _di rin kita kilala_

Mark frowned deeply.

Mark: _Alam mo pangalan ko_ _  
_…  
Unknown Contact: _gusto mo bang malaman kung sino ako?_ _  
_Mark: _Sana? Nakakatakot eh_

It took a while for them to respond, and Mark couldn’t help but fiddle with his phone case. What if they lie to him? He figured, though, that they’ve both gotten this far in the conversation, at least.

Unknown Contact: _di naman kita pipilitin, and di rin kailangan yung setup na to. gusto talaga kitang tulungan_ _  
_Unknown Contact: _you can call me Jack for now_ _  
_…  
Mark: _For now?_ _  
_…  
Jack: _by grad, I’ll say who I am. unless malaman mo before then_

Mark’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He was sure, at the very least, he didn’t know the person personally. He thought Jack shouldn’t worry about Mark finding out who he was. He felt embarrassed, though, because having a guy (wanting to) like him is different from a girl liking him. Nothing homophobic of course—it was the opposite.

Mark was _so_ sure he wasn’t likeable (crushable?) enough for someone with compulsory heterosexuality, much less someone who _wasn’t_ heterosexual. It was a compliment to his insecurities.

…  
Mark: _Okay_

— –

_He’s realizing something a little different from his game of chess from others. Instead of capturing the pieces of his friend, he’s deliberately letting his own be captured. There can still be a way to subtly find a checkmate, but he’s conscious enough to know that he’ll lose the game if he continues playing himself. Yet he can’t help but continue watching his friend instead of pondering proper moves. He considers this as he stares at his next 4 pieces to take._

— –

Normally, during lunch period, Mark ate alone at one of the benches by the trees. He never minded eating alone because it usually meant he could think about his assignments and how to go about them. It also allowed him to people-watch a bit from where he stayed. Mark was observant to a degree, being so quiet that he doesn’t really disturb the ‘outside world’. The “degree” stops whenever he realizes that he didn’t really like being seen watching people, and called creepy thereafter.

That day, though, Mark leaves the line with his tray of food and sees Gideon standing practically in front of him. He was nodding for some reason, and still with an annoyed ‘pout’ that he’d come to coin him for. At the library the other day, he had that expression on nearly the entire time except when he actually _was_ working.

“‘Sup, Sta. Maria. You eating with anyone?”

“Oh… Uh, hindi, usually mag-isa lang…”

Gideon trades his pout for a smirk, and throws an arm around Mark. They start walking.

“You like lumpia, right?”

“…Bakit?”

They reach a table, where Blanco essentially still looked broody but frozen, staring at Gideon and Mark. Paolo, meanwhile, was grinning at them as they approached while he wolfed his way through a plastic tub of lumpiang shanghai.

“Dinala ‘yan ni Pao, and kailangan niya raw ubusin, so…”

Gideon nudges Mark lightly forward before sitting next to Paolo. The empty spot next to a still-staring-at-him Blanco was left for him, and he gingerly set down his tray as he sat down. Paolo pushes the tub closer to the middle for Mark to reach and smiles at him genuinely.

“My lola made it. Dig in, motherfucker.”

Paolo was still smiling genuinely, and Mark was a little unsure with how he spoke. He figured both Gideon and Paolo just naturally talked like that, a very _strange_ form of conyo, and didn’t bother thinking about it. He reached over for a few pieces of lumpia.

Blanco suddenly clears his throat, and taps a bit at his phone, prompting Gideon and Paolo to glance at theirs for a moment. Mark decided to look away while he ate, and instead watch a few of the other students mill about. He saw Yssa from a distance, eating at a gazebo with a group of girls. Mark didn’t really recognize any of the others, except for one with long straight hair and a fringe named Stacy. He froze when Yssa noticed him for a moment, her stare moving across his little group, and waved at him with a strange smile before she continued chatting with her friends.

“So!”

Mark turned back to see Gideon and Paolo smiling at him expectantly, leaning a bit towards him over the table. A glance to his left let him know Blanco was also looking at him, now less broody and more placatingly.

“Welcome to the squad, Sta. Maria. I’m pretty sure we’re all bound by our mutual hatred of Chuck, kasi tangina niyang gago siya.”

Gideon hits Paolo on the arm.

“Ugh, ano ba, Pao. No, _Mark,_ you’re actually here with us today because you’re really nice, and gusto ka namin makasama. Our vibe together, us four, sa library? …‘Tsaka, no one deserves to sit alone. Diba, Blanco?”

Three pairs of eyes turned towards Blanco. Gideon’s was almost puppydog-like, which were what Blanco’s eyes decided to meet.

“No one deserves to be alone.”

The two held gazes, before Gideon eventually took a deep breath and broke it.

“Also, Pao, _everybody_ hates Chuck. Come on.”

“Hm, magkaibigan sila ni Jan?”

The three paused and stared at Mark in silence at his remark.

Truth to be told, Mark wasn’t entirely sure if those two were conventional friends. He knew they both hung out, especially during nights out, and Janina _might-probably-maybe_ be in a _sort of_ relationship with the asshole. Janina never usually spoke about him to Mark, unless she was talking about something that had happened “ _the other day_ ”, and Mark didn’t want to ask so he never knew much.

“Jan’s friends with everyone.”

“Wait, Sta. Maria, do you _like Jan_?”

Blanco and Paolo spoke at the same time, while Gideon stared at him assessingly, making Mark awkwardly laugh.

“Ah, lahat naman ata, may gusto kay Jan…”

Gideon scoffed.

“Si Blanco, hindi.”

“Hoy, tumahimik ka diyan—”

“Ayaw mo kay Jan?”

As Mark stared at Blanco, he caught a split-second of an almost deer-in-the-headlights expression from him. He quietly noted that it was the most candid emotion he had seen, and wished Blanco hadn’t schooled his face so quickly. He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with Mark.

“Not really into ‘ _goody types_ ', pero magkaibigan naman kami. Madalas sa 20:20.”

Mark blinked strangely at how he stressed “ _goody types_ ”, but Paolo and Gideon were already laughing at him.

“Blancs? _Really_?”

“Not into goody types, _ah_?”

Blanco was shaking his head at them, and turned back to Mark instead.

“‘Wag mo silang pansinin, nauntog ata sila nung bata, eh. Lalo na si Pao, mga ilang beses ata.”

Mark smiled politely back, and Blanco held his gaze. His eyes looked him up and down, turning into the same brooding stare he always had. It always seemed, to Mark at least, that he was full of churning thought rather than loose interest, as if his freer mind had been captured as a child. Mark wasn’t sure why he thought of Blanco’s stare in that way.

“Uh… Paano mo nagustuhan si Jan?”

The question took him by surprise, mostly because Blanco had been the one to ask it.

Thinking about it properly, he probably was a little attracted to Janina well before they, along with Yssa and Stacy, got grouped up for their research class finals thesis. From there, he started to admire her a lot more, and crush on her a little bit more. Mark was sure it was more ‘crush’ than “ _like_ ”, but he did like her.

“Ka-group ko siya sa Research class. With sina Yssa at Stacy.”

At the mention of Yssa, Paolo perked up.

“Oo nga, na-mention niya na you guys were grouped together! What’s your research again, bro? May pagka-biology ata?”

“More of psych, siya, I guess. ‘What are the effects of social media and news outlets on the current generation’s understanding of history’.”

Gideon looked genuinely interested in the subject of their research, and had completely ignored Paolo’s mix-up. He cleared his throat, though, and Mark saw his interest hide away before he changed the topic.

“Solid. So, ano pa usually ginagawa mo, Sta. Maria? For fun, when you’re not the genius of Padua.”

“Uh, well, ‘di naman talaga ako taga-rito, so… Ayun, school, bahay…”

It was a very loose answer, but Mark wasn’t sure if insulting the Metro was that great of a first impression. He figured if he ever found out that they all also weren’t too fond of the place, he could voice how tired he’d gotten of Metro Manila very quickly since he started studying at Padua in Sophomore year. What Mark didn’t know, however, was that a Manileño never truly loved Manila, and voicing hate over it was _incredibly_ welcome.

Gideon clicked his tongue.

“That won’t do, Sta. Maria. Pero ‘wag ka nang mag-alala, you got _us_!”

“Can you hold your liquor, pare?”

Mark’s eyebrows furrow in both concern and confusion, and he squints at the both of them, just as Blanco lightly hits his fist against the top of their lunch table.

“Initiation time.”

— –

 _He wasn’t one for emotions, and he never really grew tired of making sure everyone knew. His eyes and his manner and his words and_ everything about him really _conveyed exactly that, but he felt the need to claim it nonetheless. He was a little unsure if it was a coping mechanism for whatever bullshit he decided to bury deep down inside him. His subconscious knew, however, to do whatever it needed to make sure that shit stayed in there_ — _if it meant having a stone for a heart, he was alright with it._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s also a bunch of BlancUy moments here...whoops. It’s on purpose, though, because I stand by the headcanon that they were together for a while. You might get more hints as it progresses.

Mark wasn’t sure how to respond to Jack’s next series of texts.

Jack: _Mark? make me fall in love please? that’s all I ask_ _  
_ Jack: _bibigay ko sayo lahat. just make me .feel. something_

He was worried for him. While they had both barely talked yet, Mark was _concerned_ . He could feel Jack’s desperation through the screen. Mark knew he wasn’t obligated to entertain it all, actually, but he had agreed when he felt he sensed that Jack wasn’t inherently a _bad_ person. He’s dubious in morals, for sure, for even think this up, but there was…something. Whatever it was, Mark wanted to help, just a bit. He was no therapist, but a little push can eventually go a long way.

…  
Mark: _Okay. Susubukan ko, pero… Jack, alam ba ng tao sa paligid mo kung gaano ka kalungkot_ _  
_ …  
Jack: _di naman nila kailangan malaman_

Mark sighed as he recalled what Jack told him yesterday when he offered the proposition. He had mentioned wanting to know what filled Mark’s mind. Now, Mark wanted to know the same about him.

He silently hoped Jack’s friends worried just as much.

Mark: _Ano ba makukuha mo dito?_ _  
_ …  
Jack: _saya, lungkot, sakit_ _  
_ …  
Jack: _sa thursday ang drop, pero… ilan ulit_

Mark hesitantly sent in the number before slowly realizing what Jack’s message entailed.

Mark: _Alam mo kung saan ako nakatira?_ _  
_ Jack: _creepy ba kung oo, kasi kung yes edi, di ko alam_

Mark actually laughed a bit.

Mark: _Gago baliw, Hahaha. Bahala ka na lang_ _  
_ Jack: _aalamin ko na lang lahat_  
…  
Jack: _Mark? thank you. sana I love you_

Mark’s smile sobered at that, and the conflicting feelings from earlier took over him for a moment.

Mark: _‘Wag mong ipilit, ‘di yan napipilit. Marami pang oras_

— –

_He held several heavy weights in his chest. Truthfully, he only wished he could feel more than those weights. Most of it had to do with his family, for he had always held strong feelings about them. Negative feelings, for the most part, and for the most part they stayed inside him until he’d one day die. Staring down at stark white words, though, a small part of it alleviated, and he almost hated how it did._

— –

Mark wasn’t sure what counted as an initiation, but being placed in a car driven by Blanco with Paolo and Gideon at the back could’ve been exactly that if they bound and blindfolded him. They’d gone after class, and eventually arrived at Blanco’s house. The place was empty, as his father was at work and Blanco was an only child. They stayed in his room, with a bunch of snacks that Mark felt he could’ve rationed into a week’s worth (if it only weren’t junk food).

Paolo and Gideon settled at Blanco’s bed, arguing over the blanket, while Blanco stationed himself on the floor. Not knowing where to place himself, Mark sat right next to him, glancing warily.

“Okay lang ba ako dito…?”

Blanco turned to him, his hand still poised towards the TV while holding the remote. Mark noticed his lips twitch as if he tried to smile, then tried to fail.

“Whatever you want.”

Mark turned to watch the other two continue on their argument, and didn’t notice Blanco’s continuing stare. He did, at least, notice the soft touch Blanco suddenly gave Gideon after their fight over the blanket died down, with Paolo as a victor. Blanco’s hand lightly held his friend’s forearm, prompting him to look his way. Both of their gazes were clearly familiar with each other.

“‘Kuha na lang kita ng blanket or comforter.”

“Ah, sure. Comforter na lang, please. Thanks.”

They all watched as Blanco lightly pat the spot he held, got up, and left.

Paolo, as usual, broke the silence immediately after the door shut. The strange shift there, though, Mark noted, was that he wasn’t obnoxious. It shed some more light on how the group of friends really were, he realized.

“Ok ka lang, diba, Uy?”

Gideon’s entire mood shifted from there, as well, as though he realized something had slipped. Suitingly, his first reaction to Paolo’s question was to push back his already neat hair and push up his glasses.

“Of course.”

Blanco came back in with an enormous white comforter, which he placed around Gideon. The tall boy snuggled in it, almost looking like a snowman. By then, Paolo already had the remote in his hands, and was attempting to select a movie on Netflix without consulting the rest of the group.

“Pao, ano ba, I don’t wanna watch _that_! At least ask us first kung ano gusto namin.”

“But _100 Tula_ has such good poems! Ugh, sige. So ano gusto mo?”

“ _Heneral Luna_ na lang.”

“We watched that last week, Blancs.”

“Edi _Heneral Luna_ na lang… _ulit_.”

“ _Goyo_ na lang. Guwapo ni Paulo Avelino dun.”

“My _god_ , Uy—”

“Ah, si Carlo Aquino nandun din, diba?”

Mark’s meekly asked question, complete with a timid smile, had the group immediately interested.

“Crush mo rin si Caloy?”

“Cute siya…”

Blanco was staring at him again, but Mark ignored all remarks and instead stared at the thumbnail for _Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral_. It was Carlo Aquino with a shotgun in hand, dirt smeared across his face. The role was a little different from the actual persona he usually displayed, but he thought it was pretty cool to see a rocker out of his element. Even his hair was a bit different from its usual length. Mark supposed seeing Blanco act softer with his friends was close to that.

The movie started playing after Paolo’s agreeing grumble that “ _Yssa wanted me to see it na rin naman_ ”, and simple text in white on black filled the screen. The first shot was of Emilio Aguinaldo falling down in the middle of a chase, reminiscent of what the country faced… 

— –

After _Goyo_ , when Gideon and Mark’s “gay nerd side” had been fed (Paolo’s words), they decided to let Paolo be with his choice of _100 Tula Para Kay Stella_. It was at that point that Gideon dozed off to a quiet nap. Mark, having not watched it before, stayed awake. By then, two bags of chips had been wolfed down, and they’d gone through a pack of pizza rolls and beer (mostly done by Paolo and Blanco).

After Paolo’s movie, Gideon woke up almost as if on cue. It took a short while to notice, because he didn’t really seem to move from his comforter mound, but Blanco offered the remote to him when he saw him shift.

Gideon’s hand defaulted towards choosing _Okja_. It was a film Mark hadn’t heard of before, but featured a familiar face as its star. However, despite trying his best to stay awake, Mark's mind drifted away…

— –

Later on, when Mark woke up, the room was dark, and the TV was muted. He groggily looked around and saw Gideon curled up and asleep on the bed while Paolo and Blanco idly played a video game on the console. They paused the game when they saw Mark awake.

“Yo, Sta. Maria, you were asleep for _days_.”

“Exagg ka Pao, tatlong oras lang naman.”

“Tatlong oras?”

Mark looked down at his watch, and saw that it was around midnight. Blanco must’ve seen the slight jolt his body made in surprise, because he clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“Hatid na kita sa bahay. Tara.”

“Eh, ako, Blanco, what about me?”

Paolo was giving them a mock pout.

“Ulol ka, sa dulo lang ng kalsada bahay mo.”

Paolo sighed and began gathering his things, making sure to be quiet, and Mark started to do the same. He noticed Blanco lightly pushing Gideon’s hair back from his face, before carefully removing Gideon’s glasses and setting them on his study desk.

Mark meant to ask about Gideon, but Blanco and Paolo left the room when they saw Mark zip up his bag. He silently followed Blanco to his car.

They waved off Paolo and watched for a while as he silently walked down the street of their subdivision. Once he disappeared around the corner, Blanco drove off.

The ride was silent between them the entire way, but the radio lulled OPM rock music that Blanco mindlessly tapped along to. The only time they spoke was when they neared Mark’s place, and the GPS on Blanco’s phone got a way wrong.

Mark didn’t immediately get off the car once they arrived. Throughout the ride, he silently wondered how his thoughts felt strangely clear. He could only figure that being with the three was the reason.

Friends were…nice, and he was glad he found more.

“‘Kaw lang ba nandito? ‘Di ka pa pumapasok.”

Blanco was seemingly checking out his house.

“Mm…Ako lang. Apartment ni Tita Bebe, nirerentahan ko…”

A pause.

“Ah— Thank you, nga pala. Sa paghatid.”

Blanco only glanced at him quickly.

“No trouble. Don't worry.”

But Mark was still looking at him intently, and Blanco glanced at him a second time when he felt it. He looked at him, brooding eyes piercing.

“Okay ka lang?”

Mark’s expression seemed to sober up, and Blanco didn’t know what to make of the soft smile he received.

“Oo naman… Salamat ulit.”

Blanco didn't reply.

“Sa inyo.”

Something seemed to dawn on Blanco, at that, and he squeezed Mark’s shoulder lightly.

“Ah... Wala ‘yun.”

Blanco surprised Mark as well when he returned the soft smile. The smile brought a warm feeling to Mark, having seen it for the first time. He almost felt something more than warmth in his heart, a slight clench, but ignored it.

Mark got out of the car and went inside the apartment, the soft sound of the car’s engine still buzzing in his ears lightly even after he heard Blanco leave.

— –

_He was still human in biology, no matter how much he tried to deceive himself otherwise. He had felt a bit of something once, and he was almost scared to see if he was feeling something new again. It was always hard to say, but no matter what, he still craved. He craved, and he craved, but likened to an asymptote—nearly there but never quite touching._


	5. Chapter 5

Mark was surprised to find Gideon and Paolo at his locker without a Blanco in sight. He’d come from the library after finishing someone’s essay, and, going by Paolo’s rather loud comments about a turon he had eaten, he figured the two had come from the cafeteria. They turned to him when they saw him approach.

“Sta. Maria…! Just the guy we’ve been looking for!”

“Black Market, G? Papabote ako ngayon.”

He squinted, confused, as he started fixing the files he kept in his locker.

“Si Blanco?”

The two exchanged a look.

“Uhm… Well, he went home already; pagod daw. I’m a little worried, pero sabi niya tayo na lang muna.”

Gideon’s face was a curious form of sour, in that he had his “sungit” face was laced with concern. The taller boy’s hand reached for his phone just as Paolo put an arm around both of their shoulders.

“Don’t worry. Guy just needs his Me Time. Magsasabi ‘yun kung may problema.”

Paolo started shaking Mark lightly. His grin didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Mark could tell he was just as worried as Gideon. At that moment, Gideon nudged Paolo to peek at his phone, and the boy grinned largely.

“Oh, ayan na! Magpapabote rin daw si Daddy Blanco!”

Gideon slapped Paolo’s neck at this, his face almost red with supposed annoyance or sudden embarrassment (probably annoyance, Mark thought), but Mark ignored it.

He was a little hesitant, partly from how it was the middle of the week (although, on Thursdays, their batch had their designated day for their research class, so the next day wasn’t exactly a tight schedule). Mostly, his reason involved insecurity. He knew his friends were already people to trust, and they all seemed to genuinely like his company, he felt the same towards them, but that didn’t seem to stop his heart from feeling scared.

Mark also needed to attend to one last assignment, since his teacher for that class might leave soon, and he didn’t want it to be too late. He voiced his concern, thinking they’d be upset and leave him ( _who wouldn’t?_ ), but they surprised him.

“Sure sure, dito na lang kami while you submit kay Sir! We’ll wait.”

“Yeah, Yssa’s still getting her car naman.”

What would hurt him if he went, though, right?

“Ah… Sige, ‘intayin niyo muna ‘ko.”

When he came back, they were still there at his locker, and Mark let himself smile.

— –

_He was tired. Not to mean most days he wasn’t, for he always was, but that day was different. Everything felt like it was all pouring out of his being, and he had no one to turn to. He supposed his friend could be someone new, but he wasn’t quite so close yet. He missed his mother…_

— –

Mark used Instagram far more often than Twitter, mostly because of how captions won't always be read by a viewer. Truthfully, he was sometimes embarrassed by the captions he made.

He’d just posted an old photo of when Janina put makeup on him during a break in their research meeting. The caption read “ _Thanks sa pasaload. Bye data_ 😔”. It garnered a curious number of likes, as usual. He still wasn’t used to them, but ever since he started posting makeup photos done by Janina, they’d always flood in. This time around, other than just Janina and Yssa, Gideon and Paolo commented on the post. Mark meant to read them, but received a text notification.

Another _curious_ surprise was that P500.00 from _AutoLoadMAX_ was just loaded onto his phone, as if like an answer to his earlier post.

It made his throat close up in nervousness for a brief moment.

He wasn’t sure if his mother just loved him _that much_ to do it twice, or a complete stranger simply enjoyed sending load to people willy nilly, and he voiced his concerns on what happened to the _3-in-1 +1_ chat group.

Gid: _oh_  
Paoo: _o h_  
Blancs: _Ayaw mo nun?_

Mark cringed. More towards himself than to them. He didn’t find the 500 unwelcome, but he felt unsettled because he knew he wasn’t worth the trouble.

…  
Sta. Maria: _Sayang kasi, baka may mas nangangailangan_  
…  
Blancs: _Believe me, Sta. Maria_  
Blancs: _You deserve it._

His whole heart refused to believe such.

Mark sighed.

Gid: _what if it’s a gift?_  
Paoo: _yea what if u have a secret admirer_

Mark blanched at that, strongly believing he could never be liked by anyone. Not when people tended to up and leave, and not when people could just die… He wasn’t one for repressing feelings or memories deep enough for him to forget, but Mark decided not to revisit them. Not now, at least.

He was _busy_. Someone _sent him load_. A possible _stranger_.

Sta. Maria: _Ako? May secret admirer???_  
Gid: _You’d be surprised_

The way Gideon changed how he typed at that surprised Mark. His friend sounded serious with the suggestion, and a small yearning part of him almost wished it could be true. Except wishful thinking never usually got Mark anywhere—only work.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed, and his lock screen prompted a text message from an Unknown Number. Confused, he turned off his data for a moment to save it.

Unknown Number: _hi Mark, sakin galing yung load_

Panic immediately washed over him, but his mind rationalized before he could overthink.

Mark: _Ah nagkamali ka ata ng input? Pwede ko namang ipasa pabalik! :)_  
…  
Unknown Contact: _hindi, sayo talaga yan_

The panic and unease came back again tenfold. He wondered for a moment if Paolo’s “secret admirer” theory was correct, but he thought otherwise. Instead, he pondered on a suddenly more concerning fact:

A stranger had access to his number _and_ social media.

Unknown Contact: _if there’s more you need, mag-message ka lang_

Suddenly, his panic washed away. Replacing it was an almost boiling annoyance towards whoever it was. It bothered him that ridicule and bullying could follow him all the way to text, even with the few number of people he’s shared his number with. He could take things in person—any words spat on his face and or any shoves into a locker—but personal matters like money and privacy belittled him on another level.

And he was already on such a low level in all their eyes, he was sure—honor roll or not.

Mark: _Sorry pero ang weird nito. I’ll give you back the load, ‘wag mo na akong pagtripan ng ganito. Gawin mo na lang sa school katulad ng iba._ _  
_ …  
Unknown Contact: _wait, hindi to joke_  
Unknown Contact: _promise. I just want to help._

Mark frowned deeply, wishing not to reply. He glared at the cracked wall before him. He knew the implications of whoever was texting him said. Mark was a scholarship student after all, and it was no secret that that meant his wealth wasn’t as grand as everyone else in Padua. Hell, he bet the idea that prompted whatever this stranger did came from the notion that he relied on free mobile data.

Thanks, but no thanks; and he planned to make it clear to them.

It took a few more minutes before the person could reply to Mark’s new message, and he went to sleep after with the small itch to delete his recent photo.

Unknown Contact: _pasensya na kung na offend ka, it wasn’t my intention_  
Unknown Contact: _sorry, I won’t bother you from now on_  
Unknown Contact: _but please keep the load_

— –

Mark had been working on math assignments of undergrads, a mess of papers all over the coffee table at the center of the room, when Tita Bebe came in without warning. He didn’t hear keys jingling, and she wasn’t loudly proclaiming her presence before coming in either, catching him completely by surprise.

“Mark! Oh, ano na? Ba’t ka nakatulala diyan? ‘Di naman ako multo! Diba sabi mo na baka maibigay mo na ‘yung renta nang Linggo? Linggo na!”

She had also caught him empty-handed.

Awkwardly getting up from his spot on the floor, he reached for her hand to _mano_ , knowing she’d come from church. She snatched away her hand before he could hold it, though, knowing full well that the action had only meant to placate her.

Mark fidgeted.

“Ah, ano po Tita, wala pa kasing pinapadala si Mama dito… Tawagan ko na lang po siya.”

Tita Bebe visibly sighed with her entire body and being at his meek response.

“Mark! Grabe na ‘to, magtatatlong buwan na yang renta mo! May binubuhay rin ako, ijo!”

He nodded, looking down to his feet.

“Kung ‘di niyo kaya magbayad, maghanap ka na ng ibang uupahan! Hanggang biyernes, ha, Mark?!”

He couldn’t reply, and she didn’t wait either. She simply hit his temple in frustration, and left him alone in the apartment.

Gingerly, he sat himself back down onto the floor. Almost mechanically, his hand reached for his pencil, and his mind continued on with mental calculations. Yet his train of thought was already elsewhere, somehow, despite mowing through the mathematics at a faster speed.

Mark needed to find a place to move to _immediately_. Or at least, once he had finished the extra assignments, because then he could receive his pay for them, and maybe he’d have enough for an apartment with a much smaller rent.

Despite savings from his bookings of other students’ assignments, Mark could never reach the rent pay his Tita Bebe asked for. Usually, that money became his allowance, for school materials, food, and other necessities. Every single peso the money his Mama sent him went straight to the rent—and she hadn’t been sending anything for three months.

He understood, of course, and understood Tita Bebe’s anger as well, but both problems easily piled up so fast.

A quick glance at his phone made him consider messaging the three, or maybe… No, he believed that resorting to those measures will only come if he had nowhere else to go.

Mark figured he could let go of one school day, and planned out possible places to pass through tomorrow.

— –

_He had always been closer to his mother than his father. Other people, especially his cousins, used to tell him that being an only child could mean both parents’ attention towards them. He figured he was at least once close to his dad, but that all changed. It all got worse when she passed, and a strong rift came between them. He still cared for the old man, but nothing could ever be the same again._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest rereading Chapters 1 to 5 because their non-linear order catches up to this chapter. Not to say that future chapters won't still be A LITTLE non-linear, though...

Mark was by no means a heavy drinker. In fact, he wasn’t that fond of drinking, what with the usually bitter taste of most drinks. The sting, he could manage, but the taste was _shit_.

That night, however, the weight of the thought of Jack and his rent, and how he was receiving the money the next day, sat on his mind, and eventually his hand in the form of bottles and glasses full of alcohol.

Gideon, Paolo, and Yssa felt like a blessing, and eventually Janina as well when she arrived. She was a true comfort among the small-ish crowd in the bar, having known her a little longer. His ends feeling loose beyond relief, Mark accidentally let slip about Jack. He didn’t name the guy, thank heavens, yet he somehow managed to say the phrase “sugar daddy” of all things.

“Wait, so may sugar daddy ka na?”

“Hindi, _parang_ sugar daddy lang. ‘Di ko naman siya… _aanuhin_. Sabi lang niya gusto niyang makaramdam ng, ewan ko, affection.”

“And you’re gonna give it to him?”

“I… Well, wala na akong choice. Tatlong buwan nang due yung renta, and…”

He didn’t know if the sentence had an end, and they mostly couldn’t seem to reply much to that; but Gideon got distracted by his phone, and Paolo was tending to Yssa (who was trying her best to listen). Janina, meanwhile, seemed to almost sober up.

“You asked a stranger to pay your rent?”

“No, he offered… Sabi ko nga, he texted me one day. Nag-text back lang ako.”

She nodded, as if assessing it all. Or maybe to ground herself towards sobriety all the more.

“So for sure he’s a student, diba? Kasi may access siya sa number mo, and he knows about your school life. Like, your grad deal.”

Despite the soft cloud of alcohol over his mind, Mark managed to process some of the stuff she said, like the word “ _student_ ” and…the word “ _student_ ”.

Honestly, hearing himself say it all, Mark was feeling borderline embarrassed. His main anchor against it was knowing his desperation to still have a roof to live under. Mark supposed, other than that, it was also how Janina didn’t actually sound like she was judging him—truly, a _God-send_ of a person. She sounded like she was helping him, and it made Mark feel warm all over. He wasn’t sure, though, if it meant he liked her more, or if his feelings were transforming into that of friendship.

He sighed, rubbing his cheek idly, annoyed that even half-drunk his thoughts could ramble on.

“Mukha nga.”

Suddenly, Gideon giggled at his phone, despite having been frowning really hard at it throughout Mark’s admission about Jack. Mark and Janina’s attention turned to him in surprise. He looked up at them, his face already schooled back into neutrality, although the tips of his ears were pink.

“Uh, sorry, may sinend bigla si Charles sa’kin.”

Paolo’s attention was caught at the mention of Blanco, and so did Yssa’s. She had a curious look in her eyes, but Mark brushed it off as a sign of inebriation. He was a little more curious about Gideon and his reaction, and especially his friendship with Blanco. Normally, he wouldn’t dare ask about it, but he wasn’t sober enough to stop himself.

“Uy.”

Gideon turned to him, his eyebrows raised slightly in surprise.

“May something kayo ni Blanco?”

His eyebrows raised in _definite_ surprise this time.

“Uh…? We’re best friends, kaming tatlo ni Pao?”

At this, Paolo coughed lightly, but not rudely.

“Best friends, pero may damit ka sa kanya.”

Paolo did not, in any way, say his remark rudely, but it brought an odd silence among them nonetheless. His voice sounded just the slightest bit jealous, or accusatory, if Mark was correct. It made drunk-Mark more curious about the matter.

“I live farther from you guys. You two practically live on the same street.”

“Also a toothbrush.”

“So what? My _god_ Pao, it’s been a year. Tsaka, akala ko we’re talking about Mark’s sugar daddy.”

“ _Hindiii_ , hindi siya sugar daddy, student nga ata siyaaa.”

Very easily, from that point, Gideon managed to steer the conversation away from himself, and back towards Mark. Paolo and Yssa ended up finally asking about it, as well—mostly Yssa, being a self-proclaimed Gossip Queen, now more sober than sleepy.

Gideon sighed to himself as he stared at his screen, and the somewhat blurry photo on it.

— –

_He suddenly felt terribly unsure of himself. For the moment, he missed his old friend. It was similar to a kindred spirit, or a soulmate, that still kept the link between you. Yet as he thought of that friend even more, he knew they could never be what he felt he yearned for._

— –

And finally, it was Thursday, and Mark anxiously waited for when he would receive the payment from Jack. He figured that the guy knew what time he usually got home, and his guess was proven correct when he arrived at the apartment and a couple moments later the doorbell rang.

The delivery came from a man in pink, and the package was in an inconspicuous shoebox. Mark was a little unsure if he was meant to pay the delivery man, but was eventually given an answer.

“Okay na po pala yung bayad, Sir. Nagbayad po yung nagpa-deliver sa inyo.”

Awkwardly, Mark nodded, and meant to stop the man after their exchange to ask about the sender, but realized he had spaced out. The delivery man was already starting hsi engine, and was on his way.

Mark went back inside in silence, and hesitantly opened the package.

Of course, the money was there—in four thick wads wrapped _and_ bound in paper, in the form of 1000-peso bills. It also came with a small cupcake box, and a note which read:

 _Text me when you get this, babe_ _  
__~ Jack_

Mark chuckled at the term. He was more of a “ _beh_ ” person than a “ _babe_ ” person, and figured he could freely talk about that with his supposed pseudo-boyfriend.

He picked up the cupcake box and went to grab his phone to type away, a small smile on his face lit by the blue of his screen.

— –

The following day, Tita Bebe followed through on her reminder of collecting rent that Friday. Mark was astonished to feel that the week felt agonizingly long with all the events that happened. Possibly 5,000 worth of words, maybe.

Upon entering the apartment, she looked taken aback by how clean it’s become in the past week, and nearly assumed she had to regrettably let go of Mark. However, when she turned to Mark, who stood in the center of the ‘living area’, she saw him holding a wrapped package of money.

“O, ayan na ba ‘yun? Para sa tatlong buwan?”

Mark nodded, and handed her the package.

“Opo.”

“Mm… Bilangin na natin.”

Each money wad had ten 1000 bills each, which Mark had already counted the night before. The rent for three months did not equal to the amount Jack gave, and actually had extra, to which Jack explained could be an apology to Tita Bebe.

He mentioned such when she asked after finishing. Her mood was less angry after that.

“Hmm, sige, kunin ko na rin. Salamat, ah, Mark. Ayoko naman talaga kita palayasin, kaya buti na lang umabot ‘to.”

When she ruffled the mess of his hair, like usual, the movement was less harsh and less painful, and slowly some weight left his shoulders.

— –

After the week following that, it was a Friday and their midterms were finally over, meaning their half-grades were out. Mark received an e-mail for his and Blanco’s biology project, and proudly messaged him about their grade. He knew Blanco was far from being an idiot, but also knew that the guy excelled far better in their physical science and their general mathematics classes compared to biology.

Mark Sta. Maria: _Congrats sa’tin!!_ _  
_…  
Charles Blanco: _Congrats to YOU, kasi all that work was you!!_ _  
_Charles Blanco: _Yung naitulong ko lang ata issss_ _  
_Charles Blanco: _Di, wala yun, haha_

Mark frowned, exasperated. He knew exactly the amount of work Blanco gave, having read their draft. He was _far_ from being the lazyass he’s suddenly currently claiming to be.

Mark Sta. Maria: _Uy grabe naman siya, Hahaha_ _  
_Mark Sta. Maria: _I saw naman Blanco, I read the whole thing diba?_

The only reply he received after that was a shocked emoji reaction to his messages, and a spam of messages from the _3-in-1 +1_ chat group asking where Mark was.

Later on, his small group of friends came marching into the gazebo Mark decided to stay in after his usual time in the library.

Gideon and Paolo were on him immediately, asking him to go with them to Last Home while simultaneously begging Blanco to treat them all for a drink. Paolo’s main argument was that Blanco only ever gets a line of 8 in Biology classes.

“Tangina mo, Pao. Si Sta. Maria lang ililibre ko.”

Just as quickly as they hounded Mark, the two were (figuratively) on their knees in front of Blanco.

“What about me, Charles?”

Blanco’s expression could only be described as speechless, while Paolo was more or less giving Gideon a leering grin at the persuasion.

“Oo, oo na, sige na.”

Mark chuckled at the trio’s antics, watching them mess around for a few more minutes. Gideon calling Blanco by his first name was almost a surprise, but he realized that he’s done it before. Paolo’s encouragement of it, especially if to their advantage against Blanco, was amusing.

After a while, they’d leave the gazebo, and as the rest of them waited by the gate while Blanco got his car, Paolo teased Mark.

“Oh, bro, maybe you should ask your sugar daddy na i-meet ka niya sa bar mamaya?”

He had the same leering grin he gave Gideon earlier, but it was directed towards Mark now. Gideon’s own look, meanwhile, was softer.

“You could get to know the guy more. Malay mo, you’d be surprised.”

Before Mark could reply, however, Blanco’s car pulled up, and Paolo winked at him before getting in after Gideon. Once all in the car, Mark stared down at his phone, contemplating.

— –

_He could never believe in fairytales. Only just a tiny push of motivation drove the charming prince to pursue the fair princess, and even then the fair princess was really only giving in to conformity. He hated conformity. Truthfully, he was only glad that his own story was in his hands, and he played a terrible game as a jack of many trades. Before him stood his friend, unwittingly holding a card that could end him. He was surprised to find he was willing._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yerp so, long time no update, hello, paumanhin.  
> May reason naman tho: As much as I do like this fic, and I outlined it all the way to Chapter 15 where it ends + I REALLY DO WANNA finish this one day......  
> Shax dudes, sorry, pero 'di ko talaga kaya magsulat ng ship that isn't where my heart is??? My heart isn't on Sta. Blanco anymore, and I decided to finish Chapter 7 right now bc it only needed like a few paragraphs before it finished naman, kaya ni-post ko na ngayon  
> I don't know when I'll continue this, but if you're interested sa ibang Dead Kids works ko, I do have one but it's BlancUy. It's on my profile, called " Sa'yo ". I'm really proud of that one, and if you want, pwede niyong tignan hehehe.  
> That's allllll, thanksies :))

Mark decided to text Jack about Last Home while they were at Blanco’s house. He stayed in the kitchen, where Paolo was making a very elaborate sandwich while drinking a wine he randomly picked from the cabinets. Apparently, he didn’t normally like wine, but because it was what Blanco’s place usually had, it was always their pre-game drink. Meanwhile, Blanco was upstairs “fixing shit” (or so he halfheartedly explained), and Gideon rifled through the fruits in the refrigerator.

“Na-m-miss ko na si Tita… She picked the best fruits, man.”

Paolo faltered in the middle of his sandwich-building, especially with the very down tone Gideon spoke in. He caught Mark’s confused look, and softly shook his head, his expression sad.

“Yung mom ni Blancs, she…”

He didn’t finish, but Mark understood.

Thankfully, Blanco didn’t overhear that part of the trio’s shenanigans in the kitchen, because he only came in a few minutes later to hunt for scissors. Gideon found them immediately, as if by second nature, and Blanco went back upstairs again.

Mark turned back to his phone to see a new message pop up from Jack. It was then that he realized he never sent his own supposed text, and decided to.

Jack: _any plans tonight, pseudo boyfriend?_   
Mark: _Hi!! Thanks nga pala ulit. Pupunta ata kaming Last Home?_   
…   
Jack: _see you around, then :)_

He meant to ask and clarify if he really will see him, but Blanco popped up from the corner in different clothes, and told them to finish up snacking because they were heading out soon. Luckily, Paolo was already by the crumbs, and Gideon had put away his finished up small bowl of fruit.

“Oh, Charles, nandito ba yung bomber jacket ko?”

Blanco gave a vague upward wave.

“Second.”

While Gideon left to get his jacket, Paolo stared blankly towards the hallway, seemingly waiting for him. Blanco, meanwhile, turned to Mark, who looked estranged by that brief moment. By the day, his interest in the depth of “friendship” between Gideon and Blanco increased, and he felt ashamed for wanting to be privy about it. For a while, he suddenly thought about Jack, and the similarity in ‘friendly insistence’ but difference in outside relationships. He’d always figured Jack could be closer than Mark thought, but having only Blanco and Gideon, and Paolo (who was already taken), as options, maybe he was wrong.

Yet, he can’t put a finger on _how_ or _why_ someone would admire him of all people from afar. It’s not like he wasn’t easy, but he felt he wasn’t that desirable, anyway. The only desirable thing he could name about himself would be his grades and makeup-able face.

Amidst his musings and ramblings, Mark failed to notice Blanco get a couple premade sandwiches from the refrigerator and hand him one. Right in front of his face was a plastic bag labelled with “ _turkey, provolone, lettuce_ ” in marker.

“‘Di ka ata kumain. Sige na.”

It waved, and he resignedly grabbed it.

Mark didn’t notice that Paolo’s stare turned to them, either.

— –

 _He was faltering. The pieces he kept away from Him were still safe behind his back, but his hand was beginning to tremble from the need for more and_ **_more_ ** _and_ **_more and more_ ** _. It was selfish, but the human-like feelings sitting at the pit of his stomach felt more than ‘home’; felt more than ‘his old soulmate’; felt more than ‘just a connection’. And his heart chased._

— –

The mood lighting against the dim interior unsettled Mark for a bit. He was barely inebriated, and it was only if he was that he could begin to ignore a bar’s setting. When he went to Black Market with them (minus Blanco) the last time, his sobriety left the building soon enough from the personal pressure he wanted to release, and he barely noticed anything about the place. Here, now, the small crowd of people oozing their climb to alcoholic euphoria was very stark to Mark.

He wondered if Jack was among them.

At their table, a small bowl of snacks was set before them, while Janina and Yssa talked idly. Paolo was snuggled up to Yssa, while Gideon was on his phone again (but with a touch of humor to the ends of his lips). Around the bowl of snacks was Janina and Mark’s cocktails standing with a few bottles of beer. Blanco, meanwhile, was by the bar, taking a call. He’d been on the phone for a long while now, and his face looked as though it was all business.

Mark saw one of the bartenders leave, a huge bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a tray of glasses in the other. They approached them, a wide but clearly indifferent smile on their face.

“May nagbigay po sa inyo nito, mamsir.”

The group stared up at them wide-eyed, while they took the empty bottles and replaced them with the whiskey.

When they finished up and left, the group stared down at the table. Gideon and Paolo were the first to react.

“Tangina the fuck?”

“Okayyy… Why’s there a bottle of Jack on our table.”

Mark’s face suddenly bloomed red at the indirect mention of his “pseudo boyfriend”. He rubbed at his cheeks in embarrassment, but they reddened all the more when Gideon picked up a piece of paper attached to it and read the name of the sender.

“…Sino si _Jack_?”

“Ano ‘yan?”

Blanco came back to the table, balancing his phone and a tall glass of Coke in one hand as he leaned over Gideon’s shoulder to look at the note. Paolo moved closer as well to read it. They were all wide-eyed, and Mark’s mind suddenly couldn’t function properly.

“I think sa’yo ata ‘to, Sta. Maria?”

Paolo offered the note to him, while Gideon and Blanco looked at each other in utter bewilderment. All three of them had a hint of awe in their eyes, as if surprised by the offer of whoever Jack was.

Mark took the note, and read it silently.

 _Get drunk on me and never leave my sight, Mark._ _  
_ ~ _Jack_ ❤️

By then, Yssa and Janina were flanking him by the shoulders, looking at the note as Mark read it, his face flushing redder by the second. From where Gideon, Paolo, and Blanco sat, they had a clear view of the two girls’ faces turning from furrowed confusion, to slow inset shock, then major realization, before it brightened up to loud squealing directly at Mark’s ears. Mark, the victim of those sirens, flinched as he quietly slipped the note into his pocket.

“Oh. My. God. _Maaark?!_ Ba’t ‘di mo sinasabi sa’min na nandito secret admirer mooo??”

“Mark, this is so good for you! To think na nag-worry ako for you, but someone wants to court you!”

Subtly, Mark began to look by the exits, but no one seemed to exit, and for that matter, no one entered either. No one was new inside, as far as he could tell, and no one seemed to plan on leaving. Jack stayed a mystery that way, and his hands itched to grab at his phone and attempt calling his ID to see if it would ring.

He ignored the temptation.

Paolo was chuckling at the girls’ exclamations, while Mark instead noticed Gideon and Blanco share a look. He was curious to see Gideon’s cheeky smile become endearing, while Blanco shoved at his arm as if in embarrassment. The moment looked as if it was blatantly ignored by Paolo.

Blanco’s attention turned back to Mark, all serious and gruff once more.

“So sino nga ba ‘yang Jack na ‘yan? Pagseselosan ba natin ‘yan?”

“Oo nga no? May pag-aagawan na pala kami!”

Paolo laughed loudly at his own joke while the others chimed in with their own quips and teasings—mostly from Yssa and Gideon, and Blanco’s was full of confusion at how the others knew about it more than he did. Mark, bombarded by all the attention, could barely put in his own two cents on the matter. Instead, he glanced up above him, and gave a silent prayer.

_Ano ba ‘tong pinasok ko, Papa God..._

Looking back down, he smiled though, as his friends clearly were having fun with each other, even though it was at his expense. They moved on to better topics, their drunken trains of thought running pretty fast that night, and Mark quietly didn’t mind that he at least felt he belonged for a moment.

— –

_He felt embarrassment and cloud over him, reminding himself he was at least still human, watching as His face was overwhelmed by the same emotion. It was endearing to watch, albeit from too far away than he’d like to be, but knowing he still held the ability to impact, similar to what he held over his old friend, meant he could do the same on his new one. The power was almost intoxicating, and he wanted more. He wanted Him._

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter @aseocheviix for updates on when I post a new chapter, charot


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